Savoring the Samples

Free Food. Ah, the most delectable combination there ever was.

This marriage of America’s true loves causes nearly anyone to pull a break-neck U-turn at the supermarket. At sample superstars like Sam’s Club and Costco, lines for complimentary bite-sized bagel bites and Totino’s pizza rolls are nearly longer than the checkout lines.

Free samples are great, and even slightly filling if you’re willing to go against sample etiquette to steal an extra taste (or three). But could you imagine eating only freebies for a whole week?

Courtney, a twenty-something New York City journalist is doing just that. In her experiment ‘Free Eats,’ she’s biting her way through the Big Apple without spending a cent. She’s got sampling down to a science: “Method: Sample, take a lap, sample, sit down in the dining area, sample, exit and re-enter, sample, etc” she writes in her blog. She does buy a daily cup of Joe. If she’s going to starve, she’d prefer to be amped on caffeine.

She isn’t the only one who has jumped on the freebie bandwagon—people all over the country have become low-cost nibblers. The “Frugal Traveler,” a NY Times blogger, has given himself a $5/day budget. A CNN blogger is dining off food stamps. ‘Freegans’—vegan activists who hunt for free food for a living—even resort to dumpster diving to nab complimentary treats.

I’m an avid free sampler. My eyes light up when I see a tray of petite morsels sans a price tag. I go to Gateway Market hungry because I know I’m guaranteed a fine array of freebies. I’ll even pretend that I’m really interested in making a purchase to sneak an extra taste. I give the loaves of bread an extra glance—and sometimes even throw in a raised eyebrow to make it look as if I’m carefully considering the rye versus the whole grain—to sneak a bonus brownie when the baker is busy.

I wouldn’t eat off a stranger’s plate, yet I never give munching a tray of half-broken, picked-over snacks a second thought. Loaded with germs? Oh well, they’re FREE.

The free sample plan is a cheap, nearly sure-fire way to get you back in your pre-college jeans. Yet although I love all things gratis, the mere thought of it makes my stomach growl and my cheeks redden. These experiments may save the brave blogger a buck, but there’s shame in over sampling. There are plenty of ways to save and slim without having to play hide-and-seek with the butchers and bakers.

For now, I’m content with my one—okay, two—complimentary bites.